Truthful Evaluations
by JoLeigh
Summary: -revised!- At the 'shindig', Sam evaluates her life and her relationships before she tries to move on. Please read and review...
1. Default Chapter

Truthful Evaluations 

Author:  JoLeigh

Email:  vballhp3@comcast.net

Summary:  At the 'shindig', Sam evaluates her life and her relationships.

Status:  Complete

Rating:  G

Season:  Seven, set sometime after Grace, but before Heroes.

Spoilers:  Grace in a nutshell.  No spoilers for Chimera or Death Knell.  Don't incorporate Chimera into the story.

Category:  Episode Tag/Missing Scene

Characters:  Sam, Janet, and Jack

Pairings:  Deals with Sam and Jack's relationship

Song:  NO!

Archive:  Just ask first

Disclaimer:  Stargate SG-1 belongs to Richard Dean Anderson and all his buddies and their companies.  This story is mine.  I make no money from it.

Author's Notes:  This is something that should've been put into the episode, at least, parts of it.  I'm still deciding if I want to change some stuff in the story.  For those of you waiting for the next chapter of "The Story of Betrayal", I have it written, I just need to get it uploaded... but I'm having problems trying to write more... I'll get back to it, though.  I won't leave ya hangin'.

Thanks:  Jessica for betaing at such short notice.  Gategrrl for giving me a very detailed review, it gave me a lot to consider for future writing.


	2. ch1

_"I will always be there for you.  Believe me."_

She would always remember those words.  The way he said it.  His calm, soothing voice.  She wanted to believe him, but he was just a figment of her imagination.  How could she know if that's what he'd really say?  She'd have to believe it.  It was the only way she could move on.

It took awhile for everything that happened on that ship to register in her head.  She felt calm and secure finally being back on earth.  He was so happy when she woke up.  She was happy that he was there.

Once she had time to think about it, the thought of letting him go scared the hell out of her.  Everytime she forgot his words she would feel alone.

"Hey Sam."

Sam broke her gaze at the street and turned her head to see Janet standing there on the other side of the porch at Jack's house.

"Hey Janet.  I didn't expect you here.  I thought you had to work tonight?"

"General Hammond found someone to take my shift."

"That's great."

Janet walked over to the wooden bench swing.  She sat on the cushion right beside Sam.

"Why aren't you in there?"  Janet pointed to the house behind her.

"I needed to get out.  I needed to have some fresh air and think."

"About what?"

"Uh..."

Sam paused.  She wasn't comfortable telling anybody what happened on that ship.  Janet had asked her in the infirmary if she wanted to talk about it.  She wasn't ready.  Janet assured her that when she was ready to open up, she would listen.

"You need to talk about this sooner or later.  What happened on the ship?"

"How do you know I'm thinking about what happened on the ship?"

"Trust me, I know."

Sam put her elbows on her knees and combed her short blonde hair back using her hands.  She tightened her grip at the ends of her hair.

"I just don't know where to start!  It's all so frustrating."  She let go of her hair and looked at Janet.

"Start anywhere.  What's the first thing that comes to mind."

"My relationship with Jack."

"Okay, go from there.  What does your relationship with Jack have to do with the ship?"

Sam sat back and explained, "Well, Teal'c, Daniel, Jack, and my dad appeared to me while I was alone on the ship.  At one point, I felt like I was playing tug-o-war between Daniel and Teal'c.  Teal'c thought that I was being deceived and that I was being watched.  He told me I shouldn't do anything to try to save myself and fix the ship, but I told him I couldn't do that.  I just had to do something.  Daniel wanted me to explore the nebula and learn more about it, but I was more focused on trying to fix the ship."

Sam continued, "Then my dad appeared later.  He told me about my mom and how much joy she brought to his life.  He asked me if I was happy.  I told him I was.  He corrected me and said that I was content with my life.  Basically, he said I needed to let go of the things that prevented me from achieving happiness.  I deserved more.  I knew he meant that I should stop thinking I could be with Jack and move on with my life.

Jack came along shortly after that.  I talked about how I felt about him.  He said he would never ask me to give up my career for him.  He agreed with my dad when he said that I deserved more.  He said he would always be there for me."

"It's true.  You deserve a lot more.  I'm no expert on love and relationships, but I know you can't be happy and use Jack as a backboard to prevent yourself from being hurt," Janet said.

"I've gone through so much pain over the past seven years.  All the guys that were my boyfriend or have fallen in love with me have died or gone missing.  Even my friend has died, more than once.  That was more difficult because I felt like I couldn't talk to anyone.  Jack was moody at the time and blew me off and told me to get over it.  Teal'c waited until the time was right before he mourned Daniel's death.  And then I find out months later Daniel's not dead.  That's enough grief alone.  With all that's happened, I'm surprised I haven't lost my mind."

"What about Jack now?  He's not dead."

"He's still got his mind set on his job.  He has his priorities straight."

Janet knew that wasn't it.  "But..."

"I don't know.  What worries me the most is the fact he was a figment of my imagination.  I'm afraid he only said what I wanted him to say.  He was so comforting and had such a soothing voice.  I wish it was real.  If I were to talk to him now, in person, I'm not sure it would go the same way."

"You know he wouldn't be angry about it.  He would by very understanding.  You have to believe me."

"I'm sure that he would.  We are friends and he said he would always be there for me.  At least I know that is true."

Sam dwelled on that thought for a moment.  She glanced down at her hands and examined her fingernails before looking out at the street.

"There's something else that is bothering you too," Janet said.

"When I was on the ship... you weren't there.  I kept expecting you to be there.  I needed you most of all."

"I wasn't there then, but I'm here now.  I will always be here for you.  Your mind took you where it needed to go to get you through the troubles on the ship and the troubles in your life.  I'm here now so you can open up about it and talk to someone, because whatever happened on that ship is weighing down on your heart.  If it stays in your heart any longer, it's true, you will lose you heart and mind.  It's good that you talked to me, but you also need to talk to Jack.  Tell him how you feel and how you used to feel.  You have to learn to trust your friends.  Jack, Daniel, Teal'c, and I are here for you."

"How can you be so sure?"

"You're just gonna have to trust me."

Sam wiped a tear from her eye.  She sniffled.  Janet put an arm around her shoulders.

"It's gonna be okay, Sam."

"I believe a few people are waiting for you inside," Janet said, "Go have fun."

"Thanks Janet," Sam said as Jack walked out the front door.

"Hey Carter."

"Hey sir."  Sam looked up at him.

"Who ya talkin' to?"

Sam turned around to see that Janet was nowhere to be found.  She looked at the driveway.  Her car wasn't there.  Sam sighed.  "Nobody.  Do you know if Janet's coming?"

"She had to work tonight, remember?"

"Oh, yeah."

She sniffled once again and looked up at Jack with glassy eyes.  Jack could see her face beneath the dim porchlight.

"You okay?"

"No, but I will be."

"Wanna talk?"

Sam paused.  She was only gonna get one chance at this.

She nodded.

Jack walked passed her and sat back on the bench, his arms spread across the back of it.

"What's up?"  She turned to face him with one leg bent across the seat.

"This is kinda hard to say.  I'll try my best to make it understandable.  Back on the ship, you appeared to me.  And we started talking about our relationship.  I know it was just a figment of my imagination, but I had to talk anyway.  I care about you a lot.  I care about you a lot more than I'm supposed to.  But I've also come to realize that as long as I'm working with you, we can't be together.  I was always hoping that someday we'll be together, but I know that won't happen.  I've thought about quitting the Air Force, but I know you wouldn't ask me to give up my career for you."

"Right.  You're job means a lot to you and I need you on my team."

"I deserve to find happiness and that means I have to let go of a lot of things, mostly the attraction I have to you.  You will always be in my heart, but we have to go on living as close friends, at least until I know what I want and what I can do to find happiness."

Jack sat up.  "And that's what you need to do.  I don't want to hold you back.  You have to find your way.  I will be here for you."

Jack rested his hand on Sam's shoulder.  She pulled him into a hug.  He held her tight.

"Thank you, Jack."

After a long moment, they let go.

"You know, before I came out here... you were gone at least 10 minutes."

"Really?  Wow."

"Yeah, we better go back inside.  I believe some people are expecting you."

"What is this on your forehead?"  Sam wiped off a tiny piece of chocolate frosting off his forehead.

"Oh... that," Jack grinned, "Daniel challenged me and smeared some frosting on my face..."

Sam grinned.  She knew where this was heading.

"... but before I made my decision, I had to come out here and see if you were okay and wanted to join in.  I didn't want you to be disappointed 'cause you missed out on all the fun!" Jack said sarcastically with a mischeivous grin on his face.

"I guess we better get back in there.  You want to team up with me?"  Sam grin became wider as they stood up and headed for the door.

"I thought it was gonna be every person for themself?"

"Oh god."  Sam laughed.

"I'll start it off.  Daniel will never know what hit him."  Jack held the door open to let her in.

_Twinkle, Twinkle little star... how I wonder what you are..._

"Hey, did you hear that?"  Sam faced Jack.

"Hear what?"

"A little girl singing."

"Er... no."  Jack raised his eyebrow.

Realizing that her mind took her where it need to go once again, she responded.

"It's probably my imagination."

"Okey dokey.  Ready to have some fun?" Jack asked.

"Ya sure, ya betcha," Sam said with a smile on her face as Jack followed her into the house.

~~End~~

Isn't that sweet?  Hope you like!  I really need reviews on this.  I thought it was one of my best fics, but I dunno if other people like it, some don't tell me.  Just no flames… a very detailed review and constructive criticism taken.  If you love it, do tell!


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